


Last Chance

by HamletsProzac



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First Time, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Nerds being dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 13:22:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10387572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HamletsProzac/pseuds/HamletsProzac
Summary: “Suga,” he swallows thickly, “I think it’s always been you.”Fluffy AsaSuga get-together smut.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I love AsaNoya and DaiSuga, but AsaSuga is my favorite. This fic is my explanation of that.  
> (They're 18 here, in case anyone needed to know.)

“Suga,” he swallows thickly, “I think it’s always been you.”

Suga just looks at him, blankly. “What?” Asahi bites the inside of his cheek, hard, and looks away. “Asahi.” No answer. “ _Azumane.”_ A thick gulp, a nervous breath. “Spit it out, you damn chicken.”

“I just did,” Asahi whispers.

 “But what do you _mean._ And, please, _please,_ don’t mess with me. Not now, not about this. What do you _mean_?”

Asahi risks looking at him. Suga’s expression is neutral, but his eyes give him away. They’ve always been too expressive, soft even when he doesn’t want them to be. They’re telling him Suga is afraid.

“It’s always been you,” Asahi repeats heavily. “You’re the one I,” and he swallows again, “ _like_.” It feels childish and juvenile, but Suga is still listening, so he keeps going. “You’ve always been the only one who knows what I need to hear, and gives me the advice I need. And you’re the one who believes in me.”

“The whole team believes in you, Asahi, don’t be stupid.”

“Why do you think they believe in me, Suga?” Asahi presses. Suga pauses, purses his lips. “Because you’re the one who made me believe in myself.”

“Don’t say ridiculous things, Asahi.” Suga turns away, and it looks like he’s going to stand up and walk away.

“No-“ Asahi grabs his hand before he can. “You said I could say what I needed to tell you, so please, please don’t leave until you hear everything.” Suga swallows, hard, but he doesn’t pull his hand away and he relaxes back into the bed.

Asahi’s bed, which is distracting in a billion ways Asahi doesn’t have words for. Asahi’s room, because Asahi’s parents are out of town, but they’ll be back in the morning for graduation. Asahi’s graduation. Suga’s, too. This was Asahi’s last chance, and he hates himself for it, but he was already sure of what Suga’s answer would be, so it didn’t really matter, anyway.

“Suga,” he says again. “Koushi,” because he doesn’t have many chances to say his name left. Suga’s eyes slip closed, and he breathes heavily through his nose. It’s beautiful. “I don’t want you to think I’m telling you this without thinking about it. It’s all I’ve thought about, almost every day for the last two years.” Suga’s eyes fly open, and Asahi tries to memorize the pretty, surprised look on his face. “I don’t think you feel the same way, and I don’t expect anything out of you. I just.” He looks down at their joined hands, wishes he never had to let go. “I thought I would tell you now.”

Suga laughs, kind of, except it doesn’t sound like a laugh. Asahi hates it. “The night before we graduate?” he says, harshly.

Asahi nods helplessly. He’d had a million other things to say, but Suga – Koushi – looks _mad_ , and in all the scenarios he’d run through in his head, this wasn’t one he’d been expecting. He said the important part, _I’ve always really liked you_ , so he figures that has to be good enough. It’s what he gets for waiting until the last possible second.

Suga takes a deep breath, and he looks at where they’re still holding hands. “So,” he says eventually, “I just need to clarify a few things.”

“Yeah,” Asahi says, and he knows he sounds so lame but he doesn’t care.

“You like me?”

“Yes.”

“Romantically?”

Asahi licks his lips. “A lot.”

“And you ‘always’ have?” Suga’s hand twitches in his.

“Just about.” Asahi hesitates, but Suga only arches one eyebrow. “After that bad anxiety attack second year? And you talked me down?” Suga nods, slowly. “You’re the only person who’s ever been able to help me when I’m like that. And – and when you and Oikawa were talking I was so _mad_.”

Suga laughs, breathless. But then he stands up, paces across the room. Asahi takes a deep breath. This is the natural conclusion. Sugawara will leave, and that will be that.

Suga has his back to him when he speaks again. “And you’re serious about this?” His voice is small, and strangled. He sounds different. “You’re not – you’re not joking around, or messing with me?”

“What? God, _no,_ Koushi, I’d never do that.” Asahi frowns. “How could you think that?”

“Because we’re graduating _tomorrow_ and you never said anything. Never hinted, and last I’d heard you were with Nishinoya-“

“Noya and I weren’t serious,” he says quickly. He wishes Suga would turn around. His ass is pretty, but it’s not as pretty as his face, and he really _really_ wants to know what he’s thinking.

Suga half-laughs again, and presses his palms to his eyes. He takes deep breaths, and Asahi watches, wishing they were still holding hands. He takes one more slow, long inhale and exhale, and turns around. He looks at Asahi like he’s taking him apart. Asahi meets his gaze, and his heart is beating wildly, but he feels strangely calm. It’s quiet in his head. The only sensation he has room for his Suga’s eyes carefully wandering over every inch of his body.

“You _idiot_ ,” Suga mutters. And then he practically runs across the room, back to Asahi. Before Asahi can do anything, Suga is crawling into his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. “God _damn_ it, _Asahi,_ ” and he presses their lips together.

A warm body hovering over his lap, all strong writhing muscle. The smell of floral cologne, the taste of lemon candy. Soft, _soft_ lips, moving against his own.

Suga pulls away to say, “Kiss me back, idiot,” and Asahi listens.

He puts his hands on Suga’s back, pulls him closer. Suga slips, so he’s seated fully in Asahi’s lap. Asahi wants to be embarrassed, but Suga just lets out a little noise and grabs onto Asahi’s shirt collar, tightly. Asahi kisses back as best as he can, but Suga – _Koushi –_ is so fast and fierce. Hot and messy and wet. When his tongue slips into Asahi’s mouth they both moan.

Suga’s tongue is small and precise, and it seems like he’s trying to use it to open Asahi wide enough that he can crawl inside. Asahi lets his hands dip low, teasing the top curve of Suga’s ass, and he shivers when Suga pushes back into the touch. Suga’s fingers grip at his hair, pull his headband away. Suga is trembling.

“Suga,” he says, pulling away. Suga chases him, breath hitching and hands pulling in his hair. Asahi’s eyes almost roll back at the feeling, but,

“Wait, wait a second, Koushi,” he says. Suga is still shaking in his arms. Asahi finally manages to push him away, with two hands against his collarbones. They’re both panting. Suga presses his forehead to the side of Asahi’s neck, and his breath tickles. Asahi rubs his hands up and down Suga’s back. He won’t stop shaking. “What’s wrong?” His voice is sticking to his throat.

“You,” Koushi whines, pressing his lips to Asahi’s skin. “I can’t believe you waited this long.”

“I’m sorry,” Asahi laughs, because the lips on his neck are ticklish. “If I had known this would be your answer I never would have waited. I’m sorry.”

Asahi can almost feel Suga roll his eyes. “Every day, Asahi. Every day since I met you,” he says breathlessly.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, holding Suga tighter.

“Don’t – I should have told you.” Suga is kissing up the side of his neck, towards his ear, and it’s so good and _wet_. Asahi can’t think of anything to say, or do, so he just holds on and pants. Suga kisses the shell of his ear. That feels better than it has any right to. Suga carefully kisses along his jaw, and noses through his stubble. Asahi can’t hold back a gasp.

Suga rolls his hips down, inexpertly and rough. They’re both hard. Asahi moans and Suga kisses him again, reckless and wild. He’s still shaking so hard. Asahi pushes him away again.

“Suga-“

“What?” he snaps, looking up into Asahi’s eyes fiercely. Asahi’s breath catches in his throat. Sugawara Koushi is sitting in his lap, lips wet and red, flushed down to his neck, chest heaving, smelling of sweat and looking absolutely desperate. Asahi clears his throat, tries to clear his mind.

“Don’t you think we should – slow down?” Asahi says lamely, eyes darting around his room. (It’s dark and messy.)

“Why?” Suga demands, straightening up. He looks down at Asahi impetuously.

“Or – or wait or something? I want – I don’t want you to regret –“

“What part of ‘every day since I met you’ did you not hear?” Suga’s usual easy, commanding confidence is gone. In its place is wide-eyed recklessness, and Asahi doesn’t know how to handle it.

 “I know but – aren’t we supposed to take it slow?” Asahi grasps. All he can think about is Suga’s proximity to his dick.

“Why?” Suga asks again, cupping Asahi’s face in his hands. It’s gentle, and sweet, and Asahi’s heart stutters and thuds. “My only regret is that I assumed how you felt instead of asking you.” Suga leans forward and presses their foreheads together. “Trust me?”

Asahi nods. “Absolutely. _Absolutely_ , Koushi.”

He smiles, closes his eyes, and wraps his arms around Asahi’s neck. They breathe together, for a moment. Suga finally stops shaking, and Asahi’s heart stops pounding.

“So,” Suga – _Koushi,_ because he must be allowed to call him that now, surely – asks, and he sounds sly again. Asahi rests his hands on Suga’s hips as he looks down at him. “How far do you want to go?”

Asahi’s mouth goes dry. He knows _exactly_ what he wants, but he can’t possibly just say that? Can he? Suga asked like it’s such a simple answer. He swallows as Suga stares him down.

Suga laughs at his dumbstruck look. “There’s no wrong answer, you big scaredy cat.”

Asahi takes a deep breath. “I’m happy to do anything – just kissing all night would be amazing,” he says carefully. He squeezes his eyes shut and presses his forehead to Suga’s chest. He forces himself to enunciate. “But I want to have sex with you.”

He doesn’t dare look up, but he hears Suga swallow. Asahi waits as patiently as he can, trying not to fidget. Suga takes a deep breath, and Asahi can feel his exhale across the hair on the top of his head.

“I don’t know,” Suga says carefully. “I’ve never had sex before,” in a strangled whisper.

“Me either,” Asahi says quickly. His heart jumps into his throat at the prospect of being each other’s _firsts._ But he doesn’t say that. Just keeps waiting.

“Would you-“ Suga starts. Asahi doesn’t look up – doesn’t know if he could stand to look at Koushi right now – doesn’t know if the quivering feeling in his chest would survive it – doesn’t know what he’ll find. So he rubs his nose across the soft fiber of Suga’s t-shirt, inhaling deeply. (Truly, he hadn’t expected to get this far, and he’s dizzy, even though they’re not kissing anymore and his erection is fading.)

When Suga speaks again, it’s so sweetly soft, and pressed right against Asahi’s ear, so he can feel every syllable coming off his lips. “Would you want to fuck me, or would you want me to fuck you?”

Again, Asahi knows his answer, but it feels too selfish and inappropriate to say outright. So he bites his lip and thinks of a way to phrase it.

Suga, though – he knows, he always knows – pulls back and uses his hand to gently tilt Asahi’s head up. Asahi was right – he absolutely cannot handle the kind look in those light brown eyes, the way the moonlight swims inside them, the way the little mole is crinkled up in smile lines.

“You can say it,” Koushi whispers. “I want you to say it.”

Asahi swallows around his thick tongue. “I want to fuck you,” falls out of his mouth. Koushi blushes and smiles. Asahi clears his throat. “I want to be inside you. I think – I think I can make you feel good. If you want that.”

Koushi nods, and giggles a little. They’re so close that Asahi can feel it on his skin. “I want that.”

Asahi takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. He can’t look at Suga and say what he needs to say next. “Good. But that’s a lot for your f-first time.” Asahi bites his tongue.

“I’m perfectly aware of that, Asahi.” The way Suga says his name is teasing, but Asahi doesn’t feel teased. “But just because I’ve never been with a person, doesn’t mean I’ve never…” Koushi’s confidence falters, and his presses his forehead to Asahi’s neck. The familiarity of it, the way he finds the perfect little perch for himself on Asahi’s body, is so fucking cute he doesn’t know what to do with himself. “Never had anything inside of me,” Suga finishes, breath ghosting across the sweat on Asahi’s neck and collarbones.

Asahi can’t stop the image appearing in his mind, of Suga on his back with his fingers or a toy inside him, moaning. He can’t hold back a gasp, either. He can feel Suga’s blush, the hot flush of his cheeks in the places they’re pressed together. “Yeah?” he says quietly. “I don’t know, Suga. Anal isn’t really the way to lose your virginity. We don’t have to.” Asahi bites his lip before he can say more.

Suga shifts on his lap. “I uh-“ he huffs out a laugh. “God, why is this so embarrassing to talk about,” he mutters. Asahi is trying to think of how to soothe him when he continues. “I have practice taking something inside me. I want it to be you, and I want it to be now.”

Asahi’s dick swells, and he’s never hated being a teenage boy more than he does at this very moment. He breathes deep, the smell of Suga’s sweat and cologne curling into him.

“It’s late,” Asahi reasons. “It could take a while. You might not like it.”

“ _Azumane._ ” Suga grips the back of his neck, forces him to look straight up. “We have wasted enough fucking time.”

There’s no real comeback to that, is there?

Asahi gives in. He curls an arm around Koushi’s – thin, muscular, pretty – waist and lays them down on the bed, kissing those soft lips _over_ and _over_ and _over_ again, drinking in the sweet, breathy moan it earns him. He groans when Koushi’s fingers twine into his hair again, and whimpers when he pulls a little. Even though he’s on top, he feels like Suga is the one in control – as always. It’s Suga who starts unbuttoning his shirt, Suga who goes for the buttons of his own shorts, Suga who breaks away to kiss and lick and suck on his neck. Asahi is left panting and helpless, arms trembling where he’s holding himself up.

“Azumane,” Koushi whispers into his ear.

“Yeah?” he answers past the tight, _swooping_ feeling in his stomach.

“I just like saying it. _Azumane,_ ” he breathes, punctuating it with a kitten lick to the curve of his ear. Asahi can’t stop his hips from grinding down at that, and Suga’s tight, high moan at the feeling thrums through his chest like thunder.

“Koushi,” he whispers in return. He leans down to suck gently at the side of Koushi’s neck. He sucks harder when Koushi whines and throws his head back and balls his hands into fists, still tangled in his hair. He feels blood vessels snap and pulse under his teeth, and he knows he’s left a mark.

“More, now. _Please_ ,” Koushi demands, pushing at Asahi’s shoulders. “Fuck me. Hurry.” He’s already gasping and writhing, and Asahi is sure he’s going to die because there’s no way on earth this could ever be happening.

He leans away, trying to undress himself and watch Koushi get naked at the same time. It’s not successful, but he can’t stop looking – they’ve seen each other in the locker room loads of time, but now he has _permission_. He can see more little beauty marks and moles, inspect and compare them as Suga slides out of his t-shirt and pants. Suga seems equally fascinated by him, leaning up to let his fingers drag over the swell of Asahi’s pectorals. Asahi bites his lip and tries not to feel _too_ proud. He reaches over, awkwardly bumping their knees together, to go through his night table for the lube and condom. And because he can see it, he swipes a towel from the floor and arranges it underneath them.

“It’s not too scratchy, is it?” Asahi asks, voice tight and high.

“No – it’s fine.” Suga sounds the same, but he’s smiling.

Asahi triple checks the expiration dates on both the condom and the lube before Koushi snatches them away from him, rolling his eyes. Koushi grins impishly as he slicks his own fingers, laughing at Asahi’s dumbfounded stare.

“What?” Koushi teases. “You expected me to play simpering maiden?”

“Not – not at all,” Asahi stutters, transfixed by the way Suga’s fingers gleam as he works the viscous fluid over them. “I just – “ he swallows hard when Koushi spreads his legs and slowly – slowly – _slowly –_ moves his glistening hand towards his hole. (The hair around his ass is the same soft grey blonde as the hair on his head.) “My fantasies didn’t live up to the real thing. Cut me some slack.”

Koushi hums dreamily, and Asahi sits back on his heels to watch. Suga spreads out and preens under the attention. Asahi could die and be happy. (His dick, straining against his stomach, begs to differ.)

“Yeah?” Koushi moans breathily, fingers working in slow circles over his entrance. Asahi’s fingers twitch in desperation. “You fantasized about me?”

“How could I not?” Asahi whispers tightly, helplessly. That draws a laugh out of Koushi. Asahi has too many places to look all at once – the pretty flush of his cheeks and nipples, the way his plump lips part in a soft “o”, his delicate, long, lithe legs, his firm biceps…

There’s only one place to look when Suga’s finger dips into his trembling hole for the first time.

Koushi lets out a deep _ahhh_ – like relief, stretching an aching muscle. Asahi rests his hands on Suga’s ankles, rubbing little circles into the soft, nearly translucent skin. Suga wiggles pleasantly, smiling, beatific. His finger dips in and out, measured and practiced. Asahi’s fingers twitch again.

“I fantasized about you too, you know,” Suga says suddenly, as his finger dips in farther than it has yet. Asahi feels his hands clench into fists.

“Tell me.” He licks his dry lips. “Tell me, please.”

“It’s never anything like this,” he confesses, eyelashes fluttering as he adds a second finger. “In my fantasies you’re in control.”

“Sorry,” Asahi gets out, past his tight throat.

Koushi laughs, shaky and high. “It’s my stupid fault for thinking you’d be any different in bed.” Suga’s two fingers seem to be fluttering where they’re seated inside him, rapid, small motions that make Suga groan loudly. Very suddenly, Asahi can’t stand just watching anymore.

“Koushi, can I finger you too?” he blurts out – he bites his lip against his own boldness. But Koushi’s eyelashes flutter, and he responds with a breathy, _yes_. He holds the lube out towards Asahi, who takes it with fingers that are only shaking a little bit. He rubs the slippery liquid between his fingers, stomach flipping at the unfamiliar feeling. (He usually applies it to his palm, and _never_ for this purpose.)

Asahi puts one hand on Koushi’s knee, encouraging him to spread just a little farther. “Can I?” he whispers, watching where Koushi’s fingers are still working.

“Yeah – just go slow,” Koushi answers, watching him with heavy-lidded eyes.

When Asahi first presses his fingertip inside, all he notices is the odd way the slickness of their fingers catches and slides over puckered skin. Then, Koushi throws his head back and _moans_.

“Are you okay?” Asahi asks past his dry throat.

“Yes,” Koushi breathes out, voice strained and panting. “But – god – your fingers are big – bigger – they feel different.”

“Does it feel good?” he asks hesitantly, pushing his finger in and out, feeling the tight pucker tremble around him.

“Yes,” Koushi replies simply. His eyes fall shut and his tongue, pink and sweet, darts out to wet his lips where they’ve gone dry.

Asahi swallows when he feels Koushi’s fingers flutter against his. It makes it obvious how tight he really is, how little room there is to move around inside him. ( _Inside him.)_ He pushes in farther, and suddenly the pressure around his finger gives way, and now it’s just hot and wet and _soft_ everywhere. They both moan at the feeling, Asahi resting his forehead against Koushi’s knee, leaving little kisses on the veins he can see. It’s _overwhelming_ , watching Suga underneath him, feeling the clench and smoothness of his muscles. Koushi’s fingers slide in and out, encouraging Asahi along with him.

“Add another, Asahi,” Koushi commands, wigging his hips down. (Asahi feels the backs of Koushi’s fingernails against his fingertip.) Asahi bites his lip and shivers, watching his hand move to obey. This time, when he slides two fingers in, he _immediately_ feels the tightness, the wetness, the _heat_. Koushi’s knees fall open farther, and he whines at the stretch. It’s obscenely gorgeous. The sight makes him bold. He curls his fingers roughly.

Koushi’s hips jump, and he lets out a sharp _ah_ sound. “God, _yes_ ,” he moans. “More.”

Asahi complies, happily. He shifts up higher onto his knees so he can get a better angle, and flutters his fingers in time with the way Koushi’s are still wriggling. It earns him another rough yelp, and Koushi writhes down onto their fingers again.

“Full,” he pants mindlessly, circling his hips again and again. The sensations – the tightness, the strained note of his voice, his own arousal pulsing in response – make Asahi moan. He pushes his fingers in farther, as far as he can. His fingers are longer and he has a better angle, so he can reach farther than Koushi. His breath catches in his throat at his first unobstructed touch of Koushi’s skin inside. He can feel the throb of Koushi’s heartbeat around his fingers.

“I can’t wait for you to be inside me,” Koushi sighs, arching his back sensually.

A deep groan rips out of him at that. “Suga, don’t,” he warns, feeling his cock throb dangerously.

“Why? You don’t like me talking about it?” Koushi says, opening his eyes and searching for Asahi’s.

“I like it too much,” Asahi confesses breathlessly. Koushi smirks and reaches for Asahi’s hand that rests on his knee. Koushi laces those fingers together at the same moment as he spreads his fingers inside himself, so their fingers intertwine there too. Asahi’s hips jump forward, completely involuntary.

Koushi notices and his smirk turns predatory. “You like me talking in my fantasies, too.” Asahi can’t respond beyond another groan and circling his fingers. “But I think that’s probably just because I like talking.” Asahi bites his lips around another moan, pushing his fingers in farther, desperately trying to hold himself together. Asahi’s fingers brush against a new texture, a small bump that’s firmer and raised. As soon as he touches it, Koushi loses his fucking mind.

He practically screams. “ _There,_ Azumane, _right_ there!” His fingers inside himself stop working for the first time, and his arm goes limp enough that they slip out with a little wet sound. Asahi can feel the space that’s left behind. He presses in another finger when Koushi begs him for it, and moves his hand so that Asahi can have more room. Asahi tries fluttering his fingers against the little bump – his prostate – the way Koushi had been moving before. Koushi’s response is to yelp and bite his lip.

Asahi swallows, stops moving his hand. “Does it feel bad?”

Koushi laughs and rolls his eyes. “ _No_. It feels amazing. _You_ feel amazing. Idiot.”

“I’ve never done this before. You’ve really gotta cut me some slack.” Asahi flushes and grins, suddenly giddy, as if the soft wet heat around his fingers is making him drunk. Koushi’s lips look so kissable, even when stretched into a teasing smile.

“Not a chance,” Koushi replies. He moans loudly when Asahi presses roughly into the hot spot inside him. “I’ve never touched it with my fingers before,” he says mindlessly.

“Is it good?”

“It’s _amazing_.” Koushi rolls his hips in time with Asahi’s next thrust in, and the result is a sinful bob and sway to his erect cock. Asahi’s other hand slips away from where Koushi had been holding it to wrap around the enticing length. He can’t help but be delicate – the skin is so thin, flushed dark red and shifting easily under his touch. (He’s pretty sure it’s not his self-esteem issues that make him think Suga’s cock is much, _much_ prettier than his.) Suga inhales shakily at the light touches, thrusting into his hand. Asahi feels his breath catch at the sight – but then Suga pushes him away.

“Sor-“

“I just don’t want to come yet,” Suga interrupts, high and breathy.

 _Understandable._ Asahi has barely touched himself and he knows he could blow at any second. He nods and presses his lips gently to the inside of Koushi’s knee, and then further down, mouthing along the sensitive skin there. Koushi _trembles,_ Asahi can see it rippling along his thighs and feel his legs threatening to snap close around his ears. (Asahi is struck with a vivid fantasy of sucking Suga just like this, on his back, legs clamped around Asahi’s head. He hopes he gets a chance to live it out.)

 _“Azumane,”_ Koushi groans, pushing against his shoulder limply, hand sticky with drying lube. “I’m ready.”

Asahi looks Suga over, slowly. He _looks_ ready. He’s panting and flushed, eyes lidded, relaxed all over. So relaxed that his legs are splayed even wider, giving Asahi a perfect view of where his fingers are hilted inside. Ragged breaths slip out of his open mouth, lips plumped and flushed. His cock is fully erect, curving sinfully towards his stomach, and his hips are twitching, tiny aborted movements that Asahi can feel shifting his fingers against Koushi’s prostate.

But still, he asks, “Are you sure? We can go as slow as you want.”

Suga groans and thrusts his hips down pointedly. “I _know_ that, idiot. And I’m _telling_ you, I’m _ready_.” Koushi raises a snarky eyebrow. “Are _you_ not ready?” Asahi shakes his head so hard he feels a little lightheaded. Suga laughs and nudges him with his toes. “Then let’s _go_. I told you, I’m sick of waiting.”

Even Asahi can’t second-guess that. He slowly – carefully, minding his fingernails – slides out. Suga’s eyelashes flutter, but there’s no other sign of discomfort. Asahi has to search for the condom – it’s gotten lost in twisted blankets, tucker under a folder corner of the towel. When his fingers close on the cool foil packet, he feels his heartbeat slow. He pauses, sinking back onto his heels and turning the little square over and over in his hands.

“Azumane?”

Asahi observes Koushi, spread out under him. He’s so painfully beautiful. Asahi is tempted to pinch himself, just to make sure this is real. Suga raises an eyebrow at him, a worried tilt to the set of his mouth. Asahi swallows down the _are you sure_ s and the _maybe we shouldn’t_ s and all the other useless nonsense.

“I’m glad I’m doing this with you, Koushi. I’m so lucky,” he whispers. Koushi’s mouth drops open, just slightly. Asahi bites his tongue against everything that wants to spill out after. He bears the embarrassment silently, searching Koushi’s face, waiting for a response.

He has to wait what feels like a lifetime, Suga staring up at him with wide eyes. Finally, he blinks rapidly, and swallows.

“I’m lucky too, Azumane,” he says. It’s the least sure of himself Asahi has ever heard him sound. His heart flips and starts beating double time. He can’t think of what else to say, and he can’t seem to move, either. It’s like they’re both caught in a spell, an enchantment they’ve accidentally cast on one another. The feeling licks over his nerve endings, fire and ice. The longer it goes on, the worse (better) it gets. Asahi doesn’t know how much longer he can take it. He thinks he can feel his heart pumping blood through his whole body and back again, and he feels like the longer he looks at Koushi the closer their heartbeats are to syncing. He feels like his spiraling entirely out of control, panic rising in his throat – _what if I hurt him what if this is a mistake what if he hates it and blames me what if we never see each other again after_ tomorrow – and then Suga saves him by handing him the bottle of lube with a mischievous little smirk.

The tension drains out of Asahi all at once, and he’s reminded of his still throbbing cock. “Right,” he mutters, carefully ripping open the condom wrapper. “Show on the road.” He can feel Koushi’s eyes on him, watching his every move as he slides the condom over himself. Asahi hisses at the contact, eyes fluttering closed. The sharp smell of the latex is foreign. It takes the edge off his arousal – _thank god –_ as he carefully slides it down.

Asahi clears his throat. “Okay, how do you want to do this?”

Suga frowns, and he’s still so damn pretty. “What’s wrong with like this?”

“Ah –“ Asahi stutters, and takes a calming breath. He closes his eyes, just in case that might help. “Well – nothing, but – if someone is inexperienced there are other positions that make it – easier. Better.” He peeks at Koushi, who seems to be thinking it over. “Less painful,” he adds, hopefully. Suga nods, and if this moment wasn’t so important Asahi would laugh about how casual it looks despite the fact that they’re both naked and desperate for it.

“What – what do you – suggest?” And thank god he finally looks the littlest bit embarrassed, because Asahi was starting to wonder if he really was just the most incompetent person on the planet.

“Um, the uh – if I – uh – the bottom on top is good. It puts you in control.” Asahi feels his face flush dark, and hopes that Suga can’t see it well in the dim light. Suga nods, but doesn’t look convinced. “We could also – from behind is supposed to work, too. Make it- ”

“That one – the second one,” Koushi interrupts, and then bites his lip. It’s _cute_ and unbearably sexy at the same time. Asahi swallows and nods – he’s sure his voice wouldn’t work. He wipes his hand off on his t-shirt, lying beside them, but that’s the only thing he can think of to stall.

Asahi slowly leans his weight down against the bed, Suga turning onto his side and shuffling over to give him room. Asahi has a great view of Suga’s _perfect_ ass, and the freckles and moles that dart over his skin.

“I don’t think I’ll last very long,” Asahi warns as he takes his length into his hand and wiggles closer – close enough that he’s sure Koushi can feel the pounding of his heartbeat in his chest.

Koushi nods, downy hair brushing against Asahi’s nose. “That’s okay,” he whispers.

Asahi takes hold of Koushi’s hip, and he jumps and lets out a little gasp. “Koushi?”

“I’m fine,” he says tightly. His fists are balled tightly.

“We don’t have to,” he reminds him gently, heart pounding in his throat. “Koushi we really don’t. We can stop, or do something else.” He smooths his hand over Koushi’s skin over and over again.

Koushi exhales through his nose. “I said I want to.” A hesitation – a tightening of his shoulders. Asahi just keeps petting Suga’s smooth, soft, pale skin. The silence stretches on. “I’m just a little nervous,” he mumbles eventually.

“That’s _fine_ ,” Asahi laughs, pressing his forehead to the back of Koushi’s neck. “Me, too.”

“Of course _you’re_ nervous,” Koushi laughs, catching Asahi’s hand in his own and wrapping it around his waist. It pulls Asahi closer, and his cock nudges the back of Koushi’s thighs. It feels good, but it doesn’t feel important. More demanding of his attention is the way Koushi is rubbing gentle circles against his arm with cool fingertips.

“I’m partially nervous because I’m excited,” he whispers into the thin skin behind Koushi’s ear. Koushi _hmm_ s and turns into the touch.

“Partially?” Koushi teases with a wiggle of his hips.

“I’m nervous for all the regular reasons too.”

Koushi huffs a laugh, letting his head lean back onto Asahi’s shoulder. It’s tender and sweet, and so casually domestic that Asahi feels faint again. “That’s why I’m nervous too, I guess,” Koushi says softly – so softly Asahi almost has to ask him to repeat himself.

“I understand.” He tightens his arm around Koushi’s waist, drawing them even closer together. “We really, really don’t have to.”

Koushi takes a deep breath, and Asahi can feel his stomach and ribs swelling with it. “I want to. I don’t – I want…Now that I know I can have you I don’t want to wait. That’s how I feel.” With that, his demeanor changes all at once. He straightens up, and Asahi can practically _hear_ him smirking. “So. Stick it in me, big boy.”

Asahi barks out a laugh, against his will. “You’re awful.” He fishes behind himself for the lube and reslicks his cock, hands moving far more efficiently and confidently than he ever could have pictured himself being. Koushi laughs too, giddily, arching his back so attractively Asahi half-wonders if it really is his first time.

“Lift your leg up?” Asahi prompts, gently tapping the back of Koushi’s thigh. “It’ll help.” Asahi watches Koushi’s throat work over a heavy swallow as he complies. Asahi helps with a firm hand to the back of his knee. It’s slippery with sweat. Asahi’s other hand steadies his cock, and he has to take a deep breath because _this is actually happening._

“Okay?” he asks, voice tight and weak.

“Yeah,” Koushi whispers back, sounding exactly the same.

Asahi presses forward, and it’s even better than he imagined.

For countless minutes, it’s just a wash of sensations. The tightness that clings to the head of his cock as he first presses in, giving way to _soft wet hot_. The whimper that rolls out of Koushi, and the groan that rips out of his own throat. The drag along his cock as he pushes in. The shaking of Koushi’s muscles, the trembling in every inch of him when Asahi bottoms out. The sweat that prickles on his temples.

Asahi takes a deep breath as the _everything_ rushes through him. Koushi moans again, and Asahi shivers in sympathy.

“You okay?” he gasps out, acutely aware of the way he can feel Koushi’s heartbeat pounding where they’re joined together.

“I think so,” Koushi whines. He thrusts his hips back, and Asahi gasps, loudly. “Are you okay?”

“I’m _fantastic_ ,” he groans, as Koushi thrusts again. Asahi wiggles his other arm under Koushi’s chest to hold him closer. He tightens both his arms around Koushi’s thin, wiry torso, admiring with touch the figure he’s spend so much time admiring. “You feel amazing, Koushi.”

“You too, Asahi, so _warm_ ,” Koushi breathes back, tipping his head back to rest on Asahi’s shoulder, exposing the long line of his throat. Asahi presses his lips to the strong vein throbbing in his neck. Koushi moans, and it’s like it unleashes something inside him. He starts _writhing_ , grinding against his cock so _perfectly_ it makes Asahi’s head spin. He pants into Koushi’s shoulder, trying to keep still as he watching his ass work over his cock. It’s positively sinful. He whispers his name, _Koushi_ , into the skin of his neck, over and over, consciousness fragmented and fraying with every slick slide.

“You – ngh – you move too,” Koushi pants, reaching back to paw at Asahi’s hip. “C’mon, move. Fuck me.”

With a loud groan, Asahi complies. Koushi wraps his arm around the knee that Asahi has been holding to his chest, leaving Asahi’s hand free to grip his hip firmly as he shoves forward. It’s ill-timed, and he almost slides out entirely. Koushi doesn’t seem to notice, just shuffles back impatiently, reaching up to thread his fingers through Asahi’s hair roughly. Asahi tries again, and he gets it this time. Koushi shouts out a moan, almost choking on it. The sound uncurls in Asahi’s heart, and he thrust again with more confidence. Suga seems to like that.

“Oh my _god_ , it feels so good,” he moans, hand sliding away from Asahi’s hip to fist his cock. “I can’t – I can’t –“

“Me either,” Asahi confesses, trying out a sensual roll of his hips.

Koushi practically screams. “There – right there, do that again, please,” he whispers fervently, hips rocking and tiny _ah ah ah_ sounds falling from his (plump, wet, pink, soft) lips. So Asahi does it again, and again, and he imagines he can feel the nub of Koushi’s prostate against the head of his dick. He whines into Koushi’s hair, peeking down over his shoulder to look at his body. Koushi’s fist slides over his wet, pretty cock, achingly red and leaking. Asahi can’t resist rubbing his thumb over a pert brown nipple, and he can’t resist loving the little jerk and moan that he gets as a response.  He’s grateful for the condom, dulling him just enough that this won’t be over too quickly.

“ _Azumane,”_ Koushi whines, “I didn’t know it could feel this good the first time.” Asahi groans and thrusts faster, kissing his neck over and over again.

“You feel so good,” Asahi replies breathlessly. “Do you think you’re going to…”

“If you’re – oh! – if you’re asking if I’m – _god, yes_ – going to nnhg – cum – then _yeah_.” Koushi’s hand moves faster, hips bucking wildly. Asahi doesn’t need to move much – just holds on tightly and pants wetly into Suga’s ear.

He’s never seen someone come in real life, but it’s hard to miss. Koushi’s back bows fiercely, and he seems to choke on his own breath. Most noticeably for Asahi is the way Koushi vices around him, suddenly even tighter, inner muscles pulsing as Koushi’s release spills out of him. Asahi kisses every inch of pale skin his can reach, desperately, his cock throbbing hard as Suga clenches around him.  Suga’s orgasm seems to draw on forever, beautiful and almost painful in its intensity.

And then it’s over. Koushi collapses onto the bed, panting harshly. Asahi is still hard, but he can’t move – it doesn’t seem right.

“Come on my back?” Koushi suggests, breathless, but still so confident and charming, the absolute ass.

Asahi moves carefully – but _fast_ – to pull out and roll the condom off. Koushi’s groan is light, and so quiet that Asahi almost misses it with how fucking good it feels to wrap his hand around his cock. Koushi rolls onto his stomach a little, letting Asahi see even more of his skin. He doesn’t last more than a minute.

 _“Koushi,”_ he breathes, spilling onto the white, spider-webbed skin of Koushi’s ass. It’s the most erotic thing he’s seen in his whole life, and he thinks he might come again just at the sight.

But he doesn’t. His cock softens and their breath evens out, and he rubs his hands over every inch of Suga that he can reach. Suga doesn’t seem to mind his pawing – only giggles when he lingers too long over his stomach and groans when his calloused palms skid over still-sensitive nipples.

And then it’s done. They’ve had _sex_.

“Here – let me clean up,” Asahi says, feeling himself blush. He’s glad Suga can’t see it. He sits up on his knees and pulls the towel out from underneath Suga, who helps as much as he can, but flops down bonelessly with a little wince.

“Does it hurt?” Asahi murmurs as he wipes the towel across Suga’s back and ass – repressing a shiver because yep, that’s still extremely hot – and then over the head of his cock.

Suga rolls onto his back and gives a little shrug in response. “Not terribly. Feels weird. Don’t worry.”

Asahi smothers a grin. He’s _cute_ like this, fucked out and exhausted and nearly non-verbal. He swipes over Koushi’s chest and thighs, but most of his release was caught by the towel. He finds the condom and ties it, squirming at the uncomfortable feeling of drying lube and come. He tosses it to the trash can. It makes a squelching sound as it hits the inside.

Koushi giggles. “Gross,” he slurs. “Lie down now,” he demands, arms reaching up for Asahi.

Asahi complies gratefully, feeling completely spent. Koushi turns to face him, burrowing his face into Asahi’s shoulder.

“We should get dressed,” Koushi mumbles idly, fingers running up and down Asahi’s arm.

“We should, but I don’t think I can move right now.”

“Normally I’d make fun of you for that, but I have to agree.” Koushi gives a little wiggle, and Asahi can feel every nuance of it where they’re pressed together. It makes him feel delirious, and he feels a dopey grin spread across his face. He kisses the top of Koushi’s hair, soft hair catching on his own stubble.

Normally, Asahi thinks of himself as much bigger – stronger – than Suga. However, the way they’re wrapped around each other, he doesn’t feel so small. Asahi can feel the strength of him – the muscle of his back, the bulk of his thighs, the wiry arms. Asahi never wants to let him go.

“Does this mean anything?” he asks before he can stop himself, biting his lip.

Asahi can feel Koushi frown against the skin of his shoulder. “What do you mean? Don’t be obtuse, Asahi.”

Asahi swallows and closes his eyes. “We’re graduating tomorrow.”

“I know.”

“And I guess I’m just…I’m just asking if this changes anything.”

Koushi is silent for a long moment. Asahi’s room is quiet, but not silent. He can hear his heartbeat, a passing car, and the gentle rasp of Suga’s calloused fingertips against his arm.

Koushi’s voice is confident when he answers. “I don’t think so. Not really. I’ll still want to hang out with you, and I’ll see you when I visit from college. You’re still one of my best friends.” He pauses, but not hesitates – it’s for emphasis. “I just think that now we have this, too.” Asahi swallows again, but he doesn’t know what to say.

“Is that all right?” Suga asks after another long, long moment.

“That’s perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr url is the same as here, come scream at me about Haikyuu.  
> Let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading!


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